October 02, 2006

What Season Are You In?
When my firstborn child came along I had joy beyond measure. Along with that great joy there also came some doubt as well as some fear. Why fear? I was a newly married young woman with a small infant and my own Mama was 500 miles away from me. As you know, no matter how old you become there is "nothin like your Mama" to have close by your side! My husband was an excellent father but still something was missing. I needed a relationship with an older woman who could give me advice, give me encouragement, and even give me a hug when I needed it. Unfortunately, I never found her. I muddled through and then my second child came along. By then I felt a little more comfortable and confident with my mothering skills but again, oh how I yearned for that "special woman" to be in my life.

Throughout the years I was kept busy with diapers, bottles and sweet baby kisses. My life revolved around my little ones and I loved every minute of it. The times of diapering and bottles seemed never-ending , but one day to my surprise, they did end. My precious little ones were now school age. Where had the time gone? Once my children started school the years literally flew by, each year faster than the preceding one. Before I knew it my babies were no longer babies, they were young adults. I saw them grow up to be two amazing young people who love the Lord deeply. Amen! I have to admit that when it was time for them to leave I had a lot of mixed emotions. I was sad. Sad because my babies were leaving home. I won't kid you, I did my share of grieving. I was grieving not only for the fact they were leaving home, I was grieving because the life as I had known it (as Mom) was no longer. That season of my life was coming to a close. With that closing came some tears and also again, some fears. On the other hand, the other part of me was rejoicing. Rejoicing that my babies had grown up to be these amazing young adults who were prepared to begin their own new lives. For those of you who might be thinking do my children still need me , the answer is an absolute YES! They just need me in a different way:)

I wrote a post a few days back about my idea of a perfect afternoon. I had the music playing, I was writing letters and sipping my favorite tea. Some of the young Moms who read that post are not in the season of their life that will allow them to do such things. Since I wrote that post I know that there were some of you that were wishing that you could have an afternoon like that. I've had several emails from some wonderful young women who feel overwhelmed, overburdened, downright tired, and yes, even afraid. They are now in the season that I have come out of. Every word they wrote I could understand because I had felt the exact same things as a young wife and mother. Oh how I wish I could be there for them to help them. My heart was literally aching to do something for them. God calls on the older women to help the younger women. **Titus 2:2-5. Distance won't allow me to help those particular women but I can be of help to young women in my own church and area. These young women who so desperately need that Titus 2 lady in their life shouldn't have to say like I did, "there is nobody to help me." Oh how I wish I could have received that much needed help from a Titus 2 woman. I cannot tell you what it would have meant to me.

I am in a season in my life now where I am able to do things that I enjoy. I can draw, work on my photography, read, etc.... When my children were young I didn't have the time to do any of these things. I think what we have to realize is that everyone is in a different season, we can't change that fact so we might as well celebrate it. Many times when I read your blogs about your beautiful babies I do feel a twinge of sadness because a part of me misses that season in my life. How could I not? There is nothing sweeter than rocking that newborn baby in your arms. Likewise, you might have the same feeling about me because I do have time to pursue some of my interests. I believe that God wants us to be happy and satisfied with the season we are in and live it to the best of our ability and to his Glory. We need to rejoice in our season, not looking backward or forward, but appreciating every minute because life is too fleeting to wish it away.

Because of the season I am in God requires me to help the younger women. **Titus 2:2-5. It could be words of encouragement, a helping hand, a prayer, or even a loving shoulder to cry on. God calls on me to be an example and an encourager. Oh how I wish I had a woman in my life like that when my children were young. I cannot even put into words what it would have meant to me. That is why I feel very strongly about the call and even stronger about "heeding" the call. You don't have to look very far to find someone that could use that "special someone" in their life. I plan on spending the rest of this season of my life being that woman to some young wife and mother.

I leave you with this: Every season is a good season. What season of life are you in? Do you know of someone that could use your help? Are you in a season where you need that help? Ladies, it is not only our duty, but it is also our great privilege. Together, let us help one another as God has called us to do.


Amy said...

This is just such a wonderful post Susan, and so true! I'm coming out of the baby season and into the school aged child season. I'm still busy, but it's a different (better rested, lol!) kind of busyness now with homeschooling. I have more energy to do some of the things I enjoy, but not nearly as much time as before the children came. I'm seeing the "light at the end of the tunnel" as the kids are potty trained, dressing themselves, able to get themselves a snack without my help etc.

Sometimes I get frustrated by all the things I would like to do and can't, but I know that this is a chapter of my life that won't last. I need to enjoy this time while my children are small. When they're older I'll enjoy a new and different chapter....

Copper's Wife said...

Amen! Well said! You've captured the essence of the role of the older woman so well.

Susan said...

Very wise words! I remember a couple of years ago, describing what I had been doing one day to a mother of young children. My children were junior-high age. I was a little hurt by her tone as she said, "It sure would be nice if we ALL had that much time to dawdle away" which came across as rather harsh to me. As I told my husband what she had said, he reminded me that this lady is in the season of little children, and she didn't understand that I was past that season. My kids didn't need me every minute, like her children did, so I had time to do things that she considered wasting time. That was the first time I realized that we all have seasons in our lives, and that what one might be able to do, another might not have the time or freedom to do. That realization was a big help to me!

Debi said...

Hi Susan...

I'm new to reading your blog. My sister found it and told me about it.
Your story is my own. I, like you, longed for an older woman in my life but never had that privilege. I am transitioning into the season you are in, as my youngest leaves home in just a few short months. I too am also always looking for ways to reach out. Fortunately, my oldest daughter just had a baby and I am getting to help and even kind of re-live some of those baby experiences. But I must admit, I find myself teary and sentimental alot during this transition time too. Thanks for the encouragement and exhortation to get my eyes off of self and to keep ministering.

Anonymous said...

This is so beautiful!!! You really have a wonderful way with words. Your ideas are so clearly presented. I really appreciate that.

Mrs. U

Yellow Roses said...

I have just returned from spending a week with my daughter and her two-month old baby boy. She lives seven hours from me. How I wish I lived nearby so I could help her and spend time with my grandson. She doesn't have any special older friends to help her either. She also works and my grandson had to go to day care today for the first time. I've also been feeling a little blue about that, but I'm praying for positive things to come from it.


G.L.H. said...

Very well said. I am blessed to have my daughter, daughter-in-law, and four grandchildren within a mile of me. Lots of mentoring going on at my house!

Today's society keeps many young mothers from their natural support groups, so it *is* important that we be that "Titus 2" woman to these precious women.

Anonymous said...

I was moved to tears by your post. We haven't had a full nights sleep in 5 years, but the nights are getting better (they are both bad sleepers, still at 2 and 5 years). I have two lively wonderful girls who have endless energy. I know that I need to cherish these days, tiring though they are and frustrating as it is to not be able to sort photos, sew or even take a bath without some major disaster befalling one of my two, lol.
Thank you for this post, I'm so glad I 'found' you :o)

Susan P. said...

Amy, thank you so much for sharing. You have such a wonderful attitude and you are so right when you say you are going to enjoy the season you are in. Who knows what wonderful new chapter the Lord has in store for you in the future!

Coppers wife, thank you!

Susan, thanks for sharing! I think you are so right to say that if we each realize we are all in different seasons then we won't start comparing ourselves to others. We can then realize that each season requires different responsibilities and obligations. Thanks for your insight.

Debi, welcome in:) First of all, please don't feel bad for getting teary-eyed. I can't tell you how many hankies I have gone through during the transition years. It is OKAY and NORMAL!! You are a Mama and it is your right to cry;) I am so happy for you that you have your daughter and new grandbaby close by. What a blessing!! I think you will be even more appreciative of this special time since you didn't have that when your babies were young! Enjoy every minute!

Mrs. U. thank you so much for your kind words:) I wish I was close by when little Miss Elizabeth comes home;)

Katherine, I want you to know that I just said a prayer for you that the Lord would give you peace in this situation. My heart just breaks for you because I could really feel your sadness. Does your daughter have a computer? If so, this will be a wonderful tool for you to be able to keep in touch with her all the time. She can send pictures and you can help her through your words and prayers. Is she involved in a church? If so, I would pray that the Lord would send a true Titus 2 lady her way. I will be keeping you, your daughter, and new grandson in my prayers.

Barbara, very well said!! I am so happy that you have your family so close by. What a joy they must be to you! They are very blessed to have you as a mentor as well as a Mama:)

Mrs. Blythe, I am so glad you came for a visit. What a blessing those babies must be to you. I bet you fall asleep before your head hits the pillow. The season you are in is one that requires incredible energy and work, but in return you get immeasurable joy:) I know it can be frustating not being able to do a lot of the things you would like to but in time you will find that there will be time to complete it all,I promise!! Do you have a Titus 2 lady in your life that could give you a helping hand?? How about your husband? I think it would be wonderful if you could somehow find a few hours here and there to take just for "you!" It is amazing how just a few hours can rejuvinate you!

Mississippi Girl said...

Susan, that was just one of the sweetest, most wonderful posts I have read in a long while. It does get so exhausting sometimes when I feel like all I do is clean up messes and just try to keep up with the babies all day, but this is just a sweet reminder to enjoy, enjoy, enjoy the season we are in!!
May I tell you as well what a wonderful, wonderful encouragement you have been to me? Even across the miles, God has used you to bless me. Thank you so much for participating in my "encouragement packet" (I have the little suncatcher on my kitchen window) and your sweet comments. You are just precious.
Jennifer R.

Anonymous said...

I am new to your blog, having just found it yesterday through a link on Homespun Living. Your blog is wonderful.

I'm in the "grandmother" season. My daughter has four children, and I help her as much as I can, but, oh, how I wish I could do more for her. I know she gets exhausted.

I am enjoying your blog very much. Thank you for sharing!