May 23, 2007

Listen To That Still, Small Voice


It all started when I was unhappy about my weight. I didn't like how I was looking in my clothes, I thought my hair style was unbecoming, my complexion wasn't peaches and cream beautiful, I wasn't even loving my smile. I'm pretty convinced that hormones had a lot to do with how I was feeling, but that's beside the point, I was feeling pretty "crummy" about myself and it didn't really matter why. I usually try very hard not to compare myself with others but I was even doing that and I was always finding myself on "the short end of the stick."


Normally, I am very frugal when it comes to buying anything personal for myself, ie, clothes, shoes, make-up, jewelry. I have never been a "clothes horse" as some ladies are and I am more into comfort than beauty on my feet. For some unknown reason and completely contrary to my nature I got it in my head that I really wanted a purse. Now, I'm not talking about just any purse, I'm talking about a DESIGNER purse. (Gasp!) I had convinced myself that somehow that expensive purse was going to make up for how I was feeling about myself at the time. It was if I thought I could buy my self esteem and carry it around on my arm!


I hemmed and hawed about the purchase for several days. The practical side of me thought "no, you don't need that," while the other part of me that was feeling low said, "you deserve it, go right on ahead and buy it." How many times in commercials and television shows have we heard that? Hmm .... After much debate I finally convinced myself that, "yes indeed, the purse would be just the perfect thing to make me feel better about myself," so I headed off to the store. All the way on the drive to the store this still, small voice kept telling me that I didn't need this expensive purse. This still, small voice told me that this purse was NOT going to make me any happier or increase my sagging self-esteem. But did I listen??? NO


Now, before I go any further, I want to get one thing straight. I am not in any way putting down ladies who purchase expensive designer purses or anything else. I am only using this as an example in my life ~ an example of when I should have listened to that still, small voice. I know there are as many other examples just as there are people!


As I am heading into the department store I feel my heart give a little "leap" of excitement and my steps grew more hurried. Finally, when I arrived in the purse department there seemed to be a light shining like a beacon right over this purse. It was like all other things in the department store had vanished and all there was was me and THIS PURSE. Now, once you see this purse you will understand what I'm saying here. Over the ENTIRE purse were the letters DB scattered about. For most ladies it stands for Douney and Bourke but for me it was telling me Don't Buy, Don't Buy, Don't Buy. Even still, I didn't listen to that still, small voice and I purchased that purse. I felt a surge of joy for maybe all of ten seconds, or at least until I got home, and then as quickly as it came all of that joy disappeared. What replaced that joy was the same feeling I had been having before and added to that feeling were guilt and shame.


I knew deep down in my heart what the Lord was trying to tell me. Money cannot buy happiness, money cannot increase self-esteem, and certainly my treasure is not here on Earth but in heaven. What happened next was a feeling like no other. I felt my Savior wrap his loving arms around me and he gently reminded me who I was in Him. He told me that I was precious in his sight ~ beautiful and special just the way I was. All of a sudden I felt a great sense of peace come over me and all of those bad feelings disappeared. They were replaced with a great joy and happiness that no amount of money could ever buy.


And what about the purse? Well, I kept it. It serves as a daily reminder to me. Whenever I hear that still, small voice I need to stop and realize where it is coming from. I need to heed the message because the "messenger" is always right!

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your transparency in sharing that story with all of us, Susan. I appreciate your honesty and I'm sure we can all think back to a time in our life when we've experienced those same feelings. Thanks for the reminder that our importance indeed comes from Him -we truly ARE daughters of the King!

Love,
Michelle J

Karen said...

Oh, Susan, I've been there too. I start to believe the enemy's lies, instead of believing that God loves me just as I am. I could write a list a mile long of things I don't like about myself. But it does me no good. Most are things I cannot change, if I could.
I'm glad you shared your heart, and for reminding us that we have worth.
(my weakness *WAS* big soft leather purses like Etienne Aigner) I gave that up a long time ago! LOL!

Heather said...

I love this post, Susan!! Your posts are always so special ~They could be devotionals!!
I am so glad that the Lord loves us and never laughs at me or makes fun of me. We can go to Him with any problem, big or small, and He will always be there for us. He made each of our features exactly like He wanted them to be.
I love the book by Nancy Leigh DeMoss called, "Lies Women Believe" It is so good!! It is about how satan wants us to really believe his (satans)lies, but how we are to guard against those lies with Christ's truth. It is a daily battle!!
Heather

Penless Thoughts said...

That was an outstanding post. Thanks for writing it. We are valuable because we are His and for no other reason :o)
Susan

Candy said...

This was a great post. Ive been there too, only I always end up returning mine and finding a two purses for one price special hahaa. I just dont get the prices they ask on some purses. Its unreal. But your right though, we can still have one as it serves as a reminder like you said. Thats true :)
I never heard of or seen one like yours before, but it sure looks nice! I dont think we have that brand in Canada.
I am actually looking for a new purse though because one of mine, the strap broke off today!
Love Candy

Candy said...

P.s.
I think your beautiful, truly. I was drawn to your blog not just by what you write about but by your picture! You really are a pretty lady!
Love Candy

Cathy said...

Susan, that is so cute. You are precious in His sight and the apple of His eye. You just go ahead and enjoy your pretty new purse though.

Love,
Cathy

thehomespunheart said...

What a beautiful reminder to listen to God's still small voice. It can get easy to quiet it or ignore it, but oh, why would I want to?! Thank you for sharing your story!

Sarah said...

I knew deep down in my heart what the Lord was trying to tell me. Money cannot buy happiness, money cannot increase self-esteem, and certainly my treasure is not here on Earth but in heaven. What happened next was a feeling like no other. I felt my Savior wrap his loving arms around me and he gently reminded me who I was in Him. He told me that I was precious in his sight ~ beautiful and special just the way I was. All of a sudden I felt a great sense of peace come over me and all of those bad feelings disappeared. They were replaced with a great joy and happiness that no amount of money could ever buy.

Beautiful true words, thank you. I have been reading about real beauty that comes from within and having our true identity in Jesus.

Blessings.

Helpmate said...

I've been in the same situation before; however, I'm so darn picky that I never find what I want and end up purchasing nothing. He is sufficient all the time, but life has a way of tangling around me until I forget why/Who I'm living for. Thank you for sharing how deception crept into your life.

Diane said...

In our family we call that "Mall Therapy"...trying to fill an emotional void with purchases of one sort or another. Thankfully, you addressed the situation and worked through it until you settled the issue with Christ. Your example is an encouragement to us all! Thanks for your open and honest sharing. Blessings, Diane

Jodi said...

Susan ~ your post was both amusing and poignant. Satan's been pulling the same deceitful trick on women since he slithered up to Eve ~ enticing women with what we don't have, and making our abundance in God seem like it's not enough. I thank you for your willingness to be so frank and open for our benefit. You are a lovely lady!

annewithane65 (Kim) said...

What a great post Susan...thank you for sharing what was on your heart!

Mrs. U said...

OH MY!! I can definitely relate here!!! I should have listened to the Lord's voice, too. I had a fancy schmancy sports car ordered for me and the Lord clearly told me "No". I didn't listen. The dealer gave me a loaner car until my new car arrived from the factory. The loaner was a bottom of the line, four door "family car" (I was in my early 20s when this happened and HATED four door cars!! LOL!!!). I drove the loaner for two days and kept hearing the Lord tell me "No" as clear as day!!! I drove to the dealership, the salesman showed me my BEAUTIFUL sports car and I burst into tears. Of course, he's confused, thought I hated it. I told him "I am so very sorry, but I cannot buy that car." "WHAT?????", he questioned. "I cannot buy that car. The Lord clearly told me 'No' and I have to follow the Lord." "Okay... so which car do you want?" he asked. I turned around and found a four door, bottom of the line car and said "This one". The saleman and all the workers were SOOOOOOOOO confused and thought I was nuts, but I drove that little four door home and was happy Happy HAPPY to have pleased the Lord- finally. I should have listened at the beginning, but I am glad that I finally listened before I was "stuck" with a very expensive "No".

His,
Mrs. U