March 18, 2007

Dear Sweet Friends, last week when I didn't post I told you that I had been having a crazy, hectic week. That is not entirely true. The original post I had written (the "real" reason) was a gut wrenching "real" post, but after much thinking and worrying over the matter I decided I wouldn't post it . Over this weekend I have done some re-thinking and much praying and after further consideration I decided I should post it. Whenever possible I want to give hope to others who might feel hopeless and I want to be a source of encouragement whenver possible. I want to share how when you feel like you have no strength left, God is right there by your side to see you through. I also want to share with you the grace that God has bestowed upon me in my life, and also the power of love and forgiveness. Life isn't always pretty, families are never perfect, friends can let you down, and at time life can get downright ugly. The important thing to remember at these times is that we are never alone. We have a heavenly Father who loves us, who wants to comfort us, and he even carries us when we no longer feel like we can walk. It is because of this I want to share with you the original post:




Absence
First of all, thank you so much for your concern that you have shown through comments and emails over my absence. I know I am a pretty regular poster and so it is most unusual when I don't post. I have met so many wonderful friends through the blogging community and feel like we all share a special bond. We know each other's families, celebrate each other's joys, and say prayers and shed tears over each other's sorrows. This is why I wanted to share with you why I haven't been posting lately. As a very young girl I was the victim of repeated sexual abuse. Although physical scars can go away with time, emotional scars stay for a much longer time. Sometimes the body heals faster than the soul, and the emotional hurts that I suffered as a child unfortunately still plague me at times. Through much counseling and prayer I don't allow the abuse to define who I am, instead I choose to focus on the fact that I am a precious child of God. Although I would like to say I am completely "healed," I simply cannot. Every once and awhile I suffer the effects of the past. This is what I am going through right now. While struggling through this it takes all the energy I can muster just to go about and do my daily tasks. Through God's grace I don't have many "bouts' like this, and he always sees me through to the other side, where the sun is shining and the sky is blue again. So, dear friends, as I take this time to regain my strength I want you to know how much I miss you and how much I treasure all of your sweet friendships. When I am stronger I will return and continue to share my faith as well as my love of home and family.

My love to all,
Susan P.

24 comments:

picketfencemom said...

Dear Susan,
My heart absolutely broke into two pieces when I read this post. I wish I lived closer so I could give you a big hug and pray with you. But since I don't, please know that I'm hugging you with my heart and I'll still pray for you!!! You are such a godly example of inner (and outer) beauty and grace, and you are an inspiration to those of us who visit here. You take all the time you need, but remember we are lifting you up in prayer and we really do care!
I have no experience with what you're going through or where you've been, but I know One who does...and He's always there!
Lots of love, many hugs, and unending prayer,
Amy

Brenda@CoffeeTeaBooks said...

I will definitely keep you in prayer right now. Yes, life can be very cruel and difficult. I don't know how people who do not know Him and His strength make it.

Beth Moore teaches on James Robison's Life Today show each Wednesday. She has been talking a lot in the past year about the sexual abuse she suffered as a child and how it affects you to the core of your being.

May He completely wrap you in His Love and Comfort. I'm glad you are posting again.

Betty said...

Dear Susan,
Just please know you are loved and thought of, and remembered in prayer.

I can't say I know how you feel but I feel for you...

God bless.
Betty

Karen said...

Oh, sweet Susan, my heart hurts for you. It is hard to see through the tears as I type this...
You have always been such an inspiration and encourager to all of us in anything we go through, and please know that I will be lifting you up in prayer. I really do wish we were neighbors, I'd be at your door with hugs and tissues to share. I admire you, Susan, for sharing your pain and experience. I know that is not an easy thing to do. I pray for God's comfort for you tonight.
Much love and (((HUGS)))
Karen

Candy said...

Dear Susan, my heart sunk when I read this! I am so sorry that this happened to you. You have been so encouraging to me and special, I had no idea you have been going through a tough time lately. You can count on my prayers. I will be lifting you up to our Father in Heaven who I know can bring healing. He heals the broken hearted, the hurting and those in pain or discouragement.
Id like to pray for you if thats alright..
Dear Lord,
Thank you for Susan. Thank you that she has been such a special lady that we have come to know a little, even if by the internet!
We thank you Lord for gifting her with such beauty, grace, creativity, a source of encouragement and honesty to us. Lord, we thank you that when we are down, You Lord are there to lift us up! Thank you Lord that we are able to go to you in prayer for one another. Lord we ask that You would deliver Susan and set her free from any past hurts. Guard her thoughts and emotions and give her strength when she feels weak. Lord, you say in your word that that those who wait upon you shall renew their strength, they shall shall mount up with wings like eagles..(Isaiah 40:31)and so I ask that you will renew Susans strength, that you Lord will guide her and protect her and give her peace. Let her light continue to shine before others that they may see Your good works and glorify you. Thank you once again for Susan, let her be encouraged and reminded how special she is.In Your name Lord, we pray.
AMEN.
Love Candy
I will keep you in my prayers.

Christie Belle said...

Dearest Susan, my heart broke at this as well. You are such a brave woman to share your story. Like my mom said, you are always one of the first ones commenting with words of encouragement and hope and always offering up prayers for your friends on here who are going through rough times. I did not have any idea you were dealing with such a great burden. I will keep you in my prayers as I can't imagine what this experience has been like for you. Biggest hugs,
Christie

deb said...

Susan, thank you for sharing this with us. Now, many more prayers are being offered up for you. I agree with what everyone has said about how encouraging, sweet, gentle, and kind you always are on your blog and in your comments. Who would ever have imagined what you have suffered.

I will be praying extra for you that the Lord will give you the grace you need at this time.

Kelli said...

My heart is breaking for you too, Susan and I am typing this through lots of tears. You have become a very special friend to me and I am so sorry to read what you've been through in your past and what you are going through right now. I will be praying for you and may God comfort you and give you peace and healing during this time. Sending you all the hugs in the world. I wish I could do more, sweet friend. Lots of love,
Kelli

Copper's Wife said...

Praying for you now and always.

Joyismygoal said...

Dear Susan, I know you are not familar w/ me I have read your blog from time to time. I am a 47 yr old wife and mother who was abused when I was a teen. I too do not let this define me. But I suffered bouts of depression and agony of why God allows these events to occur and how can we live happily in this wicked world and of course the 'why me' syndrome for 15-20 years. I had repressed this memory for a few years and when my 3rd child a daughter was born it surfaced, I tried counseling and still I fell into at times. It was not untill about 8-10 years ago I read a book called Believing Christ not believing in Christ but believing Him.....that he can, will and does take things form us that we can't carry any longer. I have always known this..... but I don't think untill this point I ever put it to the test. I prayed as I never had before.... Lord I want this burden lifted what can I do? through reading this book I knew had to forgive my abuser--- FORGIVE---- the thought was sooooo ludicrous to me , But I wanted to be rid of this heavy burden. I tried and tried to muster feeling of forgiveness, finally took it back to the Lord and said Lord please I cannot do this on my own..... and I had the sweetest feeling of His response you cannot do it on your own that is the purpose of the atonement! And as I pleaded for Him to take this feeling from me. It was replaced w/ a feeling of gratitude and love for such a loving all knowing and omnipotent God.. the feelings of horrible Ickiness were lifted and I felt so light and almost carefree , imagine me carefree!!
I often hesitate to share the rest of the story...... but here I go..... I ended up w/ a feeling of mixed hopefulness, pity and love for the family member who abused me I know it sounds absurd and I could never have mustered up that on my own but... the absence of the bitterness and depression has been such an amazing blessing.. and I have never looked back,honestly.

Anonymous said...

Hi, My name is Arlene and I read your blog regularly. You always inspire me with the pictures of your decorating and the crafts you do! I did miss you while you were gone but I certainly understand....I will be praying for you!

deezie said...

Susan,
When I checked your blog several times a day every day and didn't see you posting I was worried I so look forward to reading your sweet blessings everyday. I am so sorry for what you are going through, it is very very hard to understand unless you have been through it, I have and go through the same bouts as you do, They seem to lessen as the years go by but they are hard and I will be praying for you that God gets you through this one alittle bit quicker. God Bless you Susan
deezie

Mrs. C said...

Thank you for being so brave and sharing your pain with the rest of us. You have blessed so many through your blog, and now you will have the prayers of even more people.

Hugs and prayers,
Mrs. C

LBP said...

Susan, I am so sorry that you had to go through should a horrible ordeal. It breaks my heart to hear how some people were treated when they were children. It's so wonderful that we have Christ to turn to when we come to the point in our minds that we just can't go on. He is always there and is always strong. The verse that Candy wrote in her comment ( Isaiah 40:31) is my very favorite verse from the Bible. Sending you peace and prayers.

LBP

Mrs.B. said...

That was very brave of you to post that....I'm sure your willingness to share will bless others immensely. (o:

Chocolate Hugs,
~Mrs.B

La Tea Dah said...

God bless you, Susan. Here's a (((hug))) and I am praying for you. You are HIS precious, darling daughter! When the days look dark, my prayer is that Jesus will carry you throught --- with love, compassion, and grace --- and that you will FEEL His presence.

Anonymous said...

Hi Susan-

I read your blog regularly (I've tried to comment in the past but I think my post got lost in cyberspace) and enjoy your perspective on life. You have the gift to create such a happy and safe home!

I wanted to tell you that I have an even greater appreciation for all the Lord can do for/in/through us because you shared your sorrow. It can seem sometimes that the people who appear to have "arrived" as far as Christian maturity and living as God would have us live have sort of skipped through the tulips all their lives never knowing what it is like to truly suffer. But you have reminded me that is an illusion. I am not glad you have been through what you have been through, but I am glad you chose to share it. It makes God's grace so much clearer! I have always seen His hand in your blogging. Now I see it even more!

I too am praying He will give you just what you need at this time.

We have this treasure in earthen vessels......


JanH

Conni Lu said...

Susan, I found your blog only recently so I haven't been around long enough for us to have become friends, but as a fellow Christian I feel I can write here and say hello and that I am sorry you are in pain. God is so good...he can take your hurts and comfort you. God bless you, take care. With a hug and a smile :) to you.

Jodi said...

Love you, ((Susan))!

Susan P. said...

Dear sweet friends, words can not possibly begin to express my appreciaton and love for your many kindnesses. The prayers, the kind words, and even the tears shed have meant more to me than you will ever know. I feel so humbled and so very blessed.

clarice said...

Dear ((Susan)),
I know your pain and it does go deep. I find it is like the layers of an onion. I go to God, He comforts me, helps me, heals me. But later it is time to dig a little deeper and deal with more. It is hard, it is exhausting but the Lord is with you every step and you will feel better. I promise xoxox Clarice

annewithane65 (Kim) said...

{{{Hugs}}} to you dear Susan! You are such a blessing to all of us who read your sweet blog.

Mindy said...

You are not alone Susan. I'm praying for you too. I admire your courage to come forth and speak about this, Your a strong woman of God and He will see you through.
God Bless you always,
Hugs..
Mindy

Revee said...

Susan, I am so sorry for the pain you suffered as a child. You will be in my continued prayers for your healing!